Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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