my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize