i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
