2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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