This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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