I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
