yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize