is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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