I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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