I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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