YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
