: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
They have beer where we have blood.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize