i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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