using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over