An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Who died my cat blue again?