something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt