ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"