Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.