Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
