You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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