I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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