My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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