Plan B is the new Plan A
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize