I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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