Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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