Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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