I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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