Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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