3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
