Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
