it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
