If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
