I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
