You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
