i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize