New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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