I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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