After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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