Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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