Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My penis needs a shock collar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
