I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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