Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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