I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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