if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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