Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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