Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
