just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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