btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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