Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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