When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize