you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
