we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
