I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You pole danced in your parka.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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