I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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