You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize