some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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