my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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